


Keep Her Safe-Part 3

by thegreatficmaster



Series: Keep Her Safe [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Family Drama, Gen, Guilty Dean Winchester, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Reader-Insert, Sad Dean Winchester, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 10:06:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20329366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatficmaster/pseuds/thegreatficmaster
Summary: You’re determined to fight for Holly, even if Dean wants to make peace.





	Keep Her Safe-Part 3

“So-how do we fight it?”

Brady sighed, gripping your hands and shifting forward on the couch.

“Y/n-you don’t have to do this. Even if Dean got guardianship, you know he wouldn’t cut you out from her life. You’d be able to see her whenever you wanted. Hell, he’d even let her stay over here”.

You snatched your hands away, pursing your lips in annoyance.

“It’s not about whether or not he’d let me see her. I know he wouldn’t stop me. I know I’d probably be the one raising her as well. My problem is that I don’t trust her to even be in the same house as him, without me”.

“Why? He’s your brother, y/n. And Sam and Jess obviously trusted him enough to name him as Holly’s guardian. So why are you trying to fight this so hard?”

You shook your head, anger bubbling up inside you.

“You wanna know why? Really?”

He waited for an answer as you began pacing, starting to list everything you bad thing could think of.

“Dean is a man who barely gives a shit about anyone but himself. He’s a man who chooses women over everything. Any chance he gets, he’s out at some shady ass bar, drinking till he can barely stand, and fucking whatever slut he can”.

Brady grimaced at your harsh words, but you weren’t about to stop.

“He works at that shitty garage, which he’s been fired from three times over, by the way. Did you know that?”

Brady sighed, shaking his head.

“Right-that’s what I thought. So, it’s not like he has a steady job. Whereas I’ve been working at the same company since I was nineteen, and I’ve worked my way up from the bottom. Now I’m the manager of my team. I’m in a much better position to take care of that girl, instead of a dude who lives in a one bedroom apartment, in the middle of probably the most dangerous area in town”.

You grabbed your phone, deciding to make a point of how irresponsible and nonsensical it would be to give Holly over to Dean.

“Look here-when you search Dean’s name, this is the kinda shit that comes up”, you said, scrolling through the many articles from the town’s newspaper about Dean’s arrests.

“He’s been arrested a bunch of times for beating anyone and everyone after he has a few too many drinks. There’s that one Crowley dude who apparently stole Dean’s girlfriend. That guy-Ed-just cos Dean thought he was annoying. Hell, he even beat that harmless doctor dude…Castiel, I think he was called”.

Brady groaned as you kept going on and on, talking about how Dean would never be able to provide for her the way you could. That Holly would probably end up with an alcoholic as a parent. That her childhood would be ruined, and she’d probably be the one who took care of him.

“And don’t even get me started on the dangerous people he keeps around him”.

That seemed to get Brady’s attention, the anger and familiarity in your voice worrying him.

“What does that mean?”

“What?” you asked, not realizing just how much you were rambling.

“You said he keeps dangerous people around him? What does-why would you say that?”

“Nothing. It means nothing. I’m just saying, it wouldn’t be safe to leave her in that apartment with him”, you muttered, not wanting to talk about it.

You turned away, done with the questions, leaving Brady alone as he watched you walk away, a confused frown on his face.

“Hi, sweetie! How are you?”

She giggled as you hugged her tight, kissing her little cheeks and lifting her in your arms.

“I’m ok. Uncle Dean’s house always smells, but I like living with him”.

You made a face, pinching your nose as she laughed.

“Smelly Dean. Well, you can stay at my house for a week. How about that?”

Her face lit up as she nodded enthusiastically, her head turning around as Dean got closer.

“Uncle Dean! Y/n said I can stay over for a week. Can I? Please?”

He chuckled, nodding his head and passing you the bag of clothes and toys.

“Of course, princess. Why do you think we came over today?”

She cheered to herself, squirming out of your arms and running into the house, leaving you alone with Dean.

“Uh-her clothes are in there and her favourite toys. I’ll…I’ll be back next week”.

You nodded, turning and walking back to your door, when Dean called your name.

Stopping in your tracks, you sighed when you turned around to find him racing up to you, a pleading look on his face.

“Y/n-I just…I don’t wanna do this. The fighting. The arguing. Can we please just stop this?”

You shrugged, raising your eyebrows.

“I don’t know. Are you gonna give me guardianship?”

He ran his hand down his face, already getting frustrated.

“Sam and Jess wanted me to be her guardian, y/n. I’m not gonna go against their wishes”.

“Well then I’ll keep fighting. Like I said, she’s not safe around you”.

“Bullshit! That’s fucking bullshit! You know I’d give my life for that girl”, he argued, not understanding why you were still insisting on any of this.

“Yea? Like you did me?”

He groaned, quickly realizing what you were referring to.

“Really, y/n? You’re still going on about that? How many times do I have to say sorry?”

“It’s not about apologizing, Dean. What-you think cos you regret it, I’m gonna just let it go? That I’m gonna forget about what they-what you let happen to me?” you asked, jabbing your finger into his chest and pushing him back.

“You think I don’t hate myself, y/n? That I don’t wish I’d have been there that night? Since the night it happened, all I’ve wanted to do was go back. To stay with you. To keep you safe. I know I failed. I know I hurt you. I know I’m fucking useless. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. And that sure as hell doesn’t mean I’d ever let anything happen to her”, he yelled, spit flying out of his mouth.

You chuckled bitterly, shaking your head and shutting the door to the house, not wanting Holly to hear any of your arguing.

“You love me? Really, Dean? Cos from what I remember, since the day John brought me to that house, you treated me like shit. You barely spoke to me. The only way I’d ever get to spend any time with you guys was when dad forced you to let me play with you, or when Sam begged you. You barely spoke to me after that. You went to high school, and I was that weird kid your dad adopted. After that we barely even spoke. The only time I’ve ever felt a single ounce of love from you was when dad died. And let’s be real, the only reason you even comforted me was so I wouldn’t embarrass you in front of anyone else”.

“You really…you really believe that, y/n? That I don’t love you”, he asked, unable to accept what he was hearing.

Sure, it took him a while to think of you as family. And yea-he wasn’t exactly the most open with his feelings.

But he was sure you knew how he felt.

He’d shown you your whole life. Hadn’t he?

“Damn right I do. As far as I was concerned, I had one brother. Ad that was Sam. He was the one who accepted me from the start. He helped me with homework, fed me, bathed me, and he was always there. Even when he left for college and you were living in the same house as me-Sam was the one I’d always talk to. I knew I could call him at whatever time of day, and he’d be there to listen. You were never there, Dean. You were the dude who I lived with. The one who hated me and basically ignored my existence. Nothing more. Nothing less. Well, not until that night. After that, you became nothing to me”.

He couldn’t help the feeling of disappointment that washed over him. Disappointment at himself.

How had he screwed up this bad?

How the fuck had he managed to make you believe you weren’t one of the most important people in his life?

“I know-I know I screwed up, y/n-”

“Screwed up? That’s what you wanna call it? A screw up?” you chuckled, shaking your head in disgust.

“You left me, Dean. Dad was out. Sam was away at college. And you were supposed to look after me. But what did you do? Tell me, Dean! What the fuck did you do?”

He didn’t answer, looking down at the ground in shame, tears filling his eyes as he tried to block it out.

“You invited your friends over. That Gordon dude. And Cole. It’s been over ten years, and I still remember the names of two men I’d met a single time. You wanna know why that is, Dean? Why I’ll always remember their names?”

You looked to him, waiting for a response as his tears began falling.

“Because they traumatized me. While you were out with that bitch Lisa, I was in this house, listening to them talk about me. Listening to their comments. Their disgusting looks and stares. I was barely even a teenager, Dean. And you left me alone with two men you never should’ve trusted”.

All he could do was nod his head in agreement. Because you were right.

He’d failed you. He’d messed up so bad, that there was no gaining your trust back. What he’d done was beyond unforgivable. And he knew there was no way to get past it.

“And that’s why I’ll never forget what you did. Why I’ll never let Holly live in the same house as you. Because god knows what’s gonna happen when you decide a random fuck is more important than taking care of your niece. God knows who you’ll leave her with. And unlike me, she won’t have a dad who’ll come home at the exact time to stop her from being attacked. She won’t have someone there to save her like I did. And I will never let that girl go through any of that. She’s lost her parents in a car crash. I won’t let her be attacked by one of her uncle’s friends. I’m not letting you traumatize that girl the way you did me”.

You swallowed thickly, refusing to let this get to you.

It’d been ten years, and you weren’t going to let this one moment in your life define who you were. You wouldn’t let it hurt you.

Not anymore.

“Now, get lost. I’m gonna spend the week with my niece and Brady. And after that, you can come collect her. But remember this, Dean…I will win. You know I will. With your record, your job, your entire background-there’s no way anyone in their right mind would give that girl over to you, instead of me. And when I do get guardianship, you’d best believe I’m not letting you anywhere near her. I promised from the moment she was born, I’d keep her safe. And that involves keeping her away from you”.

You turned around and walked into your house, looking at his tear stained cheeks, eyes red and puffy, regret all over his face.

But you felt nothing. No sympathy. No love. No guilt.

Nothing.

So, you slammed the door in his face, taking a deep breath, before walking into the living room to find Brady playing with Holly’s dolls, a smile gracing your face as you watched them for a few minutes, before you joined them, ready to get your life started with your new family.


End file.
